


The Making of a Legend

by sleepyfox



Category: Naruto
Genre: BAMF Haruno Sakura, F/M, Medical Jutsu, crack!fic, stop underestimating her badassery guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:20:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27716012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepyfox/pseuds/sleepyfox
Summary: Sakura has agreed to help Sasuke rebuild his clan, but only if they do things her way. Naruto demands details and Kakashi hears more than he would like sometimes.“You make it sound so clinical, Sakura-chan. Come on, don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it at least a little.” He playfully nudged her with his elbow and this time she did roll her eyes at him.“Not that it’s your business, but it wasn’t that fun.”Naruto blinked at her and then his lips curved into a positively evil grin. “Are you saying that asshole sucks in bed?”
Comments: 6
Kudos: 183





	The Making of a Legend

Naruto was thrilled when one of his best friends announced that her unborn child was craving ramen. Sakura had only mentioned it because she knew that if she didn’t and he found out that she had visited Ichiraku without him she would never hear the end of it, and she hadn’t spent time with him in several weeks because of their increasingly busy schedules. She missed him. Not that she would tell him that because he might crow it from the rooftops. And because they were going to Ichiraku, of course Kakashi had to be invited along and she was pleasantly surprised that he had accepted. Unusually prompt, he waited for them on one of the stools, visible eye creased in a smile. She was grateful that Sasuke had declined the invitation, however. Despite the fact that it was his child she was carrying, she wasn’t ready to spend much time with him yet unless absolutely necessary.

Naruto greeted her with a grin and a quick hug, careful not to squash her protruding belly, and pulled out a stool for her, much to her surprise. She smiled tiredly in thanks and sat, wishing for a moment that she had remembered to bring a cushion. Naruto sat down at her side, with Kakashi on his other side, greeting their former sensei with a grin and a slap on the back. 

“So the baby wants ramen? She has good taste!”

“That’s debatable,” Sakura said drily after she ordered a large bowl and rested her cheek in her hand to watch Naruto wiggle in his seat. Kakashi was reading another volume of  _ Icha Icha _ , but she saw the quirk of his mouth beneath the mask that betrayed his amusement.

“I still can’t believe you let Sasuke knock you up.” Naruto almost looked put out and Sakura fought not to roll her eyes. Of course he would phrase it that way, and she figured he would never stop asking why she wasn’t with Sasuke if she didn’t explain.

“I didn’t  _ let _ him do anything. I performed a medical procedure to ensure the continuation of the Uchiha clan.” 

“You make it sound so clinical, Sakura-chan. Come on, don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it at least a little.” He playfully nudged her with his elbow and this time she did roll her eyes at him.

“Not that it’s your business, but it wasn’t that fun.”

Naruto blinked at her and then his lips curved into a positively evil grin. “Are you saying that asshole sucks in bed?”

Ugh. Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose, studiously ignoring Kakashi’s shaking shoulders to focus on Naruto, who was practically vibrating with glee. “I wouldn’t know.”

“Umm.” Naruto’s grin wilted, brows quirked in confusion. “Wait, what? Sakura, you’re pregnant.”

“So I am.”

“Sex makes babies.”

A vein on her temple twitched and she didn’t miss the snort of laughter from Kakashi before he smothered it. “It does. But I’m a medic nin and I didn’t want to have sex with Sasuke, so I didn’t.”

Even the bowl of ramen placed in front of Naruto was not enough to distract him, but Sakura ignored his spluttering and thanked the cook, pressing her palms together before she broke her chopsticks apart and began to eat. Damn this baby for loving ramen so much. If she didn’t know any better she would think that the child was actually Naruto’s.

After a moment of unsuccessfully trying to get Sakura to explain herself, Naruto finally caved and began eating his ramen, shoveling nearly half the bowl in his mouth before he couldn’t hold it in any longer. Kakashi had already finished his in record time, chopsticks neatly placed over the bowl and his book once again in hand, but the crinkle of his eye told her that he was still listening and she just knew the asshole was laughing at them.

“OK so wait, how did you get pregnant then if you didn’t sleep with Sasuke?”

Sakura sighed and slurped up her noodles until the craving was more manageable, tapping her chopsticks against the side of the bowl. “Sasuke wanted to continue his clan and decided I was the best candidate. I didn’t want to sleep with him but I do want a child so I just used chakra to extract semen from him when I was ovulating, then implanted it myself.” 

Kakashi stopped pretending to read and stared at her with raised brows, looking suitably impressed. She saluted him with her chopsticks, glad that at least  _ someone _ realized how impressive it was, and took another mouthful of food.

“You got Sasuke off with just  _ chakra? _ ”

“Seriously? That’s what you got out of that?” Sakura pointed at him threateningly with her chopsticks and he had the sense to cringe away from her. “Yes, I did. It’s not hard to stimulate the nervous system to cause an orgasm if you know what you’re doing. It just takes a few seconds.”

“You gave him a three second chakra handjob?!” Naruto shrieked incredulously, caught halfway between evil glee and absolute shock and not even bothering to remain remotely subtle with either emotion.

Sakura pressed chakra-infused fingers against her temples to stem the beginning of a headache. “I can identify and cure over one thousand poisons, break a boulder with my littlest finger, have successfully performed the Byakugo No In, and have punched a literal goddess in the  _ face _ and you’re most impressed by me forcing someone to orgasm in three seconds using my chakra?! I will never understand men.”

By this point Kakashi had his head in his arms, his shoulders shaking with laughter and she threw a balled up napkin at him, too exasperated to do anything else when Naruto was spluttering again. 

“Eat your ramen, Naruto.”

“Oh man, Sasuke must have been so surprised,” Naruto said as he finally complied and began slurping ramen again.

Sakura hid her smirk behind her bowl as she drank the broth, remembering the Uchiha’s expression when she had explained what she was going to do and promptly placed her hand down his pants to cup his balls, channeling her chakra into his body and lifting the glass jar at the right moment to catch his release before letting him go and telling him she would let him know when the child was born. The slack-jawed look on his face, flushed from the orgasm that she knew must have been at least a little painful given how sudden it was, had made it all worth it and she would never forget it. The conversation they had had beforehand had been emotional, and she had come close to punching him into the wall at least twice, but she doubted he would ever underestimate her again. Every interaction between them since had resulted in Sasuke keeping a respectful distance from her, his gaze wary whenever he inquired about her health and the baby. She knew that it was difficult for him to act in any way paternal and she did appreciate the effort, but she also figured that it didn’t hurt to let him sweat a little.

It still pissed her off that it took that particular skill, one she had thought of on the fly when presented the opportunity and only because she had no interest in being intimate with Sasuke, was what finally truly impressed him. And Naruto too, apparently. At least Kakashi understood just how much skill and control it took to perform the procedure, and that was the only reason why she didn’t kick him out of Ichiraku for laughing so much at their conversation. The fact that Sasuke would probably hear of this from Naruto and it would be fodder for teasing for decades to come, did cheer her a bit though.

“Why did you want to know, anyway?” she asked when he finally finished his bowl of ramen.

Naruto grimaced and fidgeted in his seat until she kicked his stool to get him to spill. “I was hoping that you and Sasuke were finally together.”

Sakura scowled. “I don’t see him that way anymore. I forgave him for everything, but I’ll never forget. And I deserve better.” It had taken years to understand that, but she did.

Naruto was quiet for a long moment before his shoulders relaxed and he gave her a warm smile. “Yeah, you do. Are you happy?”

She smiled slightly back. “Yeah, I am. Sasuke is my friend, and he’s the father of my child, but he isn’t someone I see romantically anymore, and he doesn’t see me that way either. This arrangement works for us.”

To her surprise, Naruto leaned over and pulled her into a hug, his arms warm and strong around her and she let herself relax, resting her cheek against his shoulder. “I’m glad,” he murmured into her hair, pulling back to press a kiss above the seal on her brow. “You deserve to be happy, Sakura-chan.”

She would not cry but damn these hormones made her eyes well with tears. She quickly brushed them away, pressing her hand to her belly when she felt the baby kick. Before she could think, she grabbed Naruto’s hand and pressed it against her belly, laughing when he shouted in surprise when the baby kicked him a moment later. Her idiot friend started dancing in place, waving Kakashi over and exclaiming loudly how cool it felt and how awesome it was and she didn’t even mind that he was drawing everyone’s attention to them again. Kakashi didn’t make any move to feel the baby kick, although she wouldn’t have minded if he had, but his gentle expression made her smile all over again. 

Kakashi stood and stepped around Naruto to pat her shoulder, leaning down to murmur in her ear, “You are absolutely terrifying. I’m proud of you.”

Cheeks flushed with pleasure, she beamed up at him. “Thank you.”

He dropped several bills on the counter, more than enough to cover two meals, and Naruto howled about the injustice of Kakashi finally paying for someone else and not including him. Eye crease the only evidence of his smile, he waved goodbye and pulled out his orange book, sauntering off a few paces before disappearing in a whirlwind of leaves, followed closely by Naruto, who yelled over his shoulder, “Next time it’s my treat, Sakura-chan! Promise!”

She would believe it when she saw it, but she didn’t bother questioning him. Instead, she waved goodbye and made her way at a leisurely pace back to the hospital. Now that her craving was sated for the time being, there was work to be done.

**Author's Note:**

> This idea wouldn't leave me alone so I ran with it because I think it's entirely possible for Sakura to do this sort of thing given her chakra control and medical know-how so yeah. The ending was a surprise to me too, honestly.
> 
> Unbeta'd so if you see any mistakes, feel free to point them out. I only briefly went over it to check for errors but I may have missed something.
> 
> I regret nothing.


End file.
